In a bizarre twist that left fans baffled and laughing in equal measure, Houston Astros All-Star pitcher Framber Valdez found himself at the center of an outrageous yet oddly humorous misunderstanding in downtown Houston. According to witnesses, Valdez was reportedly arrested late last night—not for any actual criminal offense, but due to what is now being referred to as “DUI: Driving Under Imagination.”
Yes, you read that correctly. Valdez, known for his sharp curveballs and calm demeanor on the mound, was seen “driving” a shopping cart decorated like a lowrider, complete with LED lights and Astros flags, down the sidewalk while passionately shouting imaginary play calls through a megaphone. Local authorities initially suspected a case of public intoxication and vandalism when the cart collided with a planter outside a taco stand. However, after a breathalyzer confirmed zero alcohol, it became clear that this was simply a wild display of offseason creativity.
Framber’s explanation? “I was rehearsing for a promotional video. The cart was my ‘pitch-mobile.’ I didn’t think anyone would take it seriously!” The Houston Astros quickly released a statement confirming Valdez’s sobriety and emphasizing that no real laws were broken, calling the situation a “case of harmless mischief gone viral.”
The incident, now dubbed “Cartgate,” has taken social media by storm. Astros fans are using the hashtag #FreeFramber while posting memes of Valdez pitching fastballs from a shopping cart. Even Elon Musk chimed in, tweeting, “If Framber can drive a cart like that, imagine what he could do with a Cybertruck.”
Although Valdez was briefly detained, no charges were filed. The pitcher was released with nothing more than a warning and a request to “keep his promotions on the field.” In typical Valdez fashion, he smiled and promised, “Next time, I’ll bring a helmet.”
Whether a case of extreme fan dedication or simply offseason boredom, the episode has only made fans love Framber Valdez more. With the MLB season approaching, one thing is certain: all eyes will be on him—not just for his pitching, but for whatever surprise he rolls out next.
