[/Clears throat, puts on Cheesehead] I get it, OK? I get it. Dan Campbell’s edgy. He’s sooooooo cool and soooooo trendy. Everything he does is universally applauded by literally everyone in sports media, and the Lions are just so fun and charming and probably America’s new team. Whatever. Going for it? On fourth down? Groundbreaking.

Campbell and the Lions have benefited from basically every “controversial” decision they’ve made this year, much to the chagrin of every other NFC North team that’s maybe also playing well and maybe also technically still in the division title hunt but just doesn’t have an absolute football psycho as their head coach.

It was only a matter of time before Campbell’s very specific brand of game management cost the team in a not-unserious way, and I’m overjoyed to announce that his time has come. It took us all way longer to get here than I’d prefer, but life’s about the journey, not the destination. Now sit back, kick your feet up, and watch A Classic Dan Campbell Decision spectacularly backfire in record time.

If you can believe it, the internet wasted no time roasting Campbell for this. An onside kick with 12 minutes left in a two-score game is certainly one decision he could make, especially considering how far success rates have plummeted under the new rules this season. This is a Dan Campbell Heat Check if I’ve ever seen one. I am genuinely curious what Campbell’s explanation for this is, because I cannot think of one reason why this is a good idea. And sure, that’s more so because I’m spending most of the oxygen in my brain laughing at it, but I still can’t think of anything.

I know there’s a real sour grapes vibe to this blog, but that’s only because the Lions are better than the Packers and that makes me sour. This is what coping looks like. No one said it’d be pretty.