In a completely fictional turn of events, Boston Red Sox manager Alex Cora made headlines this morning when he humorously refused to comment on the New York Yankees’ ongoing losing streak, saying:
“We’re Red Sox. We don’t celebrate Yankees pain — we enjoy it quietly, with dignity… and maybe a cold beer.”
According to fake sources in the clubhouse, Cora was asked about the Yankees’ fifth straight loss, to which he reportedly replied with a smirk, “Look, I’ve got a rule: never mock a rival in June. Save it for September — it tastes better then.”
Fictional Clubhouse Reactions
Players allegedly burst into laughter, with one unnamed Red Sox player joking:
“Coach just wants to make sure the baseball gods don’t reverse the curse on us.”
Another player reportedly whispered, “Deep down, we all check the Yankees’ score every night. But we pretend not to.”
Fans React to Imaginary Quote
On fictional Red Sox Twitter, fans celebrated Cora’s tongue-in-cheek diplomacy. One fake tweet read:
“Alex Cora is pure class — even when he’s trolling the Yankees.”
Meanwhile, imaginary Yankees fans weren’t thrilled.
“Even your manager knows we’ll bounce back,” wrote a fictional fan named @BronxFaithful88.
DISCLAIMER: This story is entirely fictional and created for humorous/creative purposes. Alex Cora has not made these statements in real life.
