Brock Purdy Sends 6-Word Text After 49ers Reportedly Replace Him with $160 Million Super Bowl Champion
San Francisco, CA – In a move that has left the sports world absolutely baffled, the San Francisco 49ers have reportedly replaced breakout star quarterback Brock Purdy with a mysterious Super Bowl-winning quarterback on a $160 million deal. While the identity of this new signal-caller remains unclear, sources close to the situation indicate that the team is “just kind of winging it” at this point.
Purdy, the former Mr. Irrelevant turned MVP candidate, reportedly reacted to the shocking development with a simple six-word text message: “Lol, you gotta be kidding me.”
League insiders believe this decision was made after an intense film study session in which 49ers executives realized they could never truly enjoy a stress-free playoff run with Purdy at the helm. “Sure, he wins games, but does he make us feel like we’re getting our money’s worth?” said one anonymous executive. “We needed someone with more… expensive experience.”
Fans have already begun rioting outside Levi’s Stadium, demanding answers. “First Jimmy G, then Trey Lance, now this?” one enraged fan shouted while burning a jersey that appeared to have multiple names crossed out. “I can’t keep up anymore!”
While speculation swirls about the identity of Purdy’s replacement, some unconfirmed reports suggest the team has signed a retired veteran known only as “Big Game Guy” whose career highlights include holding a clipboard for legendary quarterbacks and collecting championship rings without throwing a single playoff pass. Others believe Tom Brady, having retired and unretired multiple times, has once again made a dramatic comeback just for the thrill of it.
As for Purdy, sources say he is currently weighing his options, including a potential career in stand-up comedy based on his ability to keep a straight face while leading San Francisco to the NFC Championship with zero respect.
At press time, 49ers head coach Kyle Shanahan was seen staring blankly at a whiteboard, muttering, “Maybe we should’ve just kept Purdy.”
