Dallas Makes Outrageous Offer to Landon Jackson After His Mind-Blowing NFL Combine Performance
Dallas, TX – The NFL world was left in shock today as the Dallas Cowboys reportedly offered an unprecedented contract to defensive lineman Landon Jackson after his jaw-dropping performance on Day 1 of the NFL Scouting Combine. Sources close to the situation claim the deal includes a lifetime supply of BBQ brisket, a private ranch bigger than Jerry Jones’ ego, and an ironclad contract stating the team will never blame him if they don’t reach the Super Bowl.
Jackson, who reportedly ran faster than a runaway stallion, benched 900 pounds while casually scrolling through social media, and intercepted a pass before the quarterback even threw it, has instantly become the most sought-after player in the draft. Scouts on the scene were left speechless, with one insider stating, “I don’t know if he’s human or if the Cowboys just found the reincarnation of a football god.”
Desperate to secure his services, Dallas’ front office wasted no time in crafting an offer that can only be described as borderline illegal in 49 states. Insiders report the contract includes a $700 million signing bonus, an honorary sheriff’s badge from the state of Texas, and a clause ensuring he never has to acknowledge the existence of the Philadelphia Eagles.
NFL analysts are already dubbing this the most ridiculous yet brilliant move in Cowboys history, rivaling their decision to build the most expensive stadium on Earth before winning another Super Bowl. Meanwhile, Cowboys fans have taken to social media, with one tweeting, “Give him the key to the city. Hell, rename Dallas after him.”
As of press time, Jackson was seen being escorted into AT&T Stadium, where sources confirm he was handed a pre-engraved Hall of Fame bust and personally knighted by Jerry Jones. Whether he actually signs with the Cowboys or the deal remains a fever dream is yet to be determined, but one thing is for certain—Landon Jackson’s legend has already begun.
