Elon Musk — billionaire, part-time chaos agent, and full-time disruptor — has done it again. This time, he’s turned his attention to the NFL, making an offhand comment that sent Dallas Cowboys fans and league executives into DEFCON 5.

During a livestream for his new brain-enhancement app “X Neural+,” Musk was asked what team he’d buy if he ever stepped into the NFL. His answer?

“I wouldn’t buy any of them. I’d just retire the Dallas Cowboys from the league… just because.”

Yep. “Just because.”

🏈 Cowboys Nation Explodes

Within moments, the words “RETIRE THE COWBOYS?” trended on X (formerly Twitter), with more than 12 million posts in 6 hours.

Cowboys fans — known for their fierce loyalty and yearly Super Bowl delusions — lost it:

• “He can launch rockets, but he can’t launch a playoff win.”

• “Keep the Cybertrucks — hands off America’s Team!”

• “Just because?! Bro, you better have a reason to come at the Star!”

One fan even projected a giant “DON’T MESS WITH DALLAS” sign onto a Tesla dealership in Arlington.

🧠 Musk Attempts to Clarify (Sort Of)

Musk later doubled down in a string of cryptic posts:

“The Cowboys are a paradox. So much hype. So little yield.”
“Retiring them would be like deleting Internet Explorer — no one uses it, but everyone gets mad when it’s gone.”
“Texas needs SpaceX, not a quarterback controversy every season.”

He concluded with a poll asking:

“Retire the Cowboys for science?
✅ Yes
❌ No
🤖 Replace them with robot linebackers”

“✅ Yes” won with 64%.

💼 NFL Office in Emergency Mode

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was reportedly “visibly sweating” at league HQ.

One anonymous source claimed:

“Elon’s not joking. If he offered Jerry Jones $12 billion and a Mars suite, the Cowboys could be vaporized by next Sunday.”

Another insider says the league has drafted a secret Musk Contingency Plan called “Gridiron Lockdown.”

💸 Jerry Jones Responds Like… Jerry Jones

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones didn’t stay silent for long.

At a surprise press conference, he said:

“The only thing Elon’s retiring is common sense. The Dallas Cowboys are worth more than all his rockets and robot dogs combined.”

He then invited Musk to “come to AT&T Stadium and try deleting us in person.”

Security at the stadium has reportedly been upgraded with anti-droid sensors. (Unconfirmed.)

🤠 Players & Fans Get Petty

Cowboys QB Dak Prescott posted a picture of a football lodged in the tailpipe of a Tesla with the caption:

“Come get your toy back.”

Micah Parsons simply tweeted:

“Try me, robot boy.”

And a Dallas bakery released a “Musk Must Go” cookie shaped like a Tesla getting tackled by a linebacker.

🏁 Final Thought: Is This Real Life?

Only Elon Musk can ignite a full-on sports war with five words and zero context.

Whether it’s trolling, a marketing stunt, or an actual desire to wipe the Cowboys off the gridiron map, one thing’s clear:

In Elon’s universe, logic is optional — but drama is guaranteed.

Next up: Will he threaten to delete the Patriots? Rename the Raiders to “Space Pirates”? Ban field goals on Mars?

Stay tuned.