San Francisco 49ers cornerback Charvarius Ward says that the personal trauma he’s suffered in California will factor into whether he returns to the team in free agency this offseason.
Ward spoke with reporters in front of his locker on Monday about his impending free agency and whether he expects to come back to San Francisco next season. The conversation began with his salary expectations. Ward said he believes the Niners did not expect to afford him heading into this season, but added, “if they can afford me, there’s a chance I may come back.”
However, when a reporter asked if he would consider a one-year deal to wait for a better cornerback market, the 28-year-old dove into a personal reflection.
“I got a lot of trauma in California,” Ward admitted. “I had a lot of great times, but the worst thing that’s ever happened to me — that’s probably gonna ever happen to me, knock on wood — happened in California. It just brings up bad memories. Every time I get on the plane to come back to California — Santa Clara, San Jose, here — it just bring up bad memories and I go through that every day.
“I go home every night by myself because my girl, she don’t want to come back to California because of what happened. It’s hard being alone. She’s my strength right now. I need her.”
Ward was referencing the death of his daughter, Amani Joy, who died at 23 months in late October. Ward also told reporters that he almost lost his son in pregnancy as well. The Niners were very open about giving Ward all the time he needed to grieve his loss, which amounted to three games. (He also missed the Week 17 game to attend the birth of his son.)
Ward, who was a second-team All-Pro member last season, admitted that he felt like his return was a “mistake” and that he should have taken more time to grieve because getting back to Santa Clara was “depressing.” His main motivation for coming back was being there for his teammates, who he praised for their support.
The cornerback did not rule out a return to California in general, stating that he could learn to manage the distance from girlfriend Monique Cook. When another reporter asked if he’d be more comfortable in a place like Dallas, closer to friends and family, he answered affirmatively but still said it would be “amazing” to be back with the Niners, provided he could “overcome a lot of that trauma.”
“I get PTSD a lot,” Ward said. “I be throwing up, waking up in the middle of the night all the time, sweating and stuff like that. It’s tough, it’s tough. But, you know, we’ll see how it goes. It’s gonna be interesting for sure.”
After the year he’s had, one can only hope that wherever Ward ends up, it’s somewhere he can find peace.
