Shocking: Brian Snitker Plans to Turn Ian Anderson Into ‘Superman One Shoulder’ – Only Allowed to Throw, Nothing Else When Returning to Braves

A Comeback Plan So Wild It Might Just Work

Atlanta Braves manager Brian Snitker has reportedly unveiled a shocking and oddly specific plan for the long-awaited return of pitcher Ian Anderson — and fans are calling it both “genius” and “comic book-level insane.”

Sources say Anderson, recovering from Tommy John surgery, will be restricted to one thing only when he rejoins the roster: throwing. That’s it. No fielding. No bunting. No warm-up jogs. Not even handing the ball to the trainer. Just pitching with one heroic arm, earning him the new nickname:

“Superman One Shoulder.”

Pitch First, Breathe Later

Snitker reportedly told team staff during a closed-door session:

“I don’t want him thinking about base running, pickoffs, or even tying his cleats. If he can throw heat with that arm, that’s all we need.”

Insiders claim the Braves are designing a custom one-sleeve uniform, and Anderson will enter games on a rolling throne, minimizing any non-throwing exertion.

Medical Staff Is… Confused

One trainer allegedly replied, “We usually like players to stretch,” while another added, “We weren’t aware ‘One-Shoulder Mode’ was an approved recovery plan.”

Still, Snitker remains firm. The message to Anderson?

“You’re not a baseball player right now. You’re a weapon.”

The Fans React

Naturally, Braves Twitter exploded:

• “He’s the One-Armed Avenger now.”
• “Forget rehab stints. Strap a cape on this man.”
• “They’re turning Ian into a pitching cyborg and I LOVE it.”

Memes have already begun circulating of Anderson’s face edited onto Superman, Iron Man, and Robocop, all throwing 98 mph.

A New Era of Pitching Efficiency

Snitker may be starting a trend. Several teams are now allegedly looking into “specialized single-skill players,” including:

• A reliever who only throws one pitch and exits on hoverboard
• A pinch-runner who arrives via zipline
• A DH who only swings once per game — blindfolded, for drama

The Comeback Begins

Anderson is expected to begin throwing in live sessions soon, and fans eagerly await his return. Whether “Superman One Shoulder” becomes a real thing or a glorious meme, one thing’s for sure:

When Ian Anderson takes the mound, he won’t be warming up. He’ll be unleashed.