Shocking: Last Year’s Dodgers’ No. 1 Relief Pitcher Discovered to Have Mysterious Superpowers, Predicted to Break MLB Records in 2025
MLB May Never Be the Same Again
In what can only be described as a real-life superhero twist, insiders around the Los Angeles Dodgers have started whispering about a mysterious “ability” possessed by their former top relief pitcher — a power so bizarre, so unexplainable, that it’s now fueling predictions he’ll shatter MLB records in the 2025 season.
The pitcher in question, whose identity is being deliberately protected by teammates and staff (though fans suspect it’s Evan Phillips), has reportedly shown “inhuman control, speed, and sixth-sense instincts” on the mound.
“He’s not throwing. He’s predicting,” said one anonymous NL West hitter.
“It’s like the ball bends away the moment you think you’ve timed it.”
Signs of a Superhuman?
Reports from the Dodgers’ training complex detail some chilling events:
- Pitching machines malfunction when he’s nearby
- Radar guns overheat tracking his fastballs
- Batters claim they “swing early” even when they didn’t
One hitting coach even said:
“He stared at a batter and the guy missed the pitch before he threw it. What are we supposed to do with that?”
Dodgers Stay Quiet — But MLB Is Watching
When asked directly, manager Dave Roberts gave a tight-lipped grin:
“Let’s just say we’re excited for what he’s about to do. Really, really excited.”
Rumors suggest MLB has quietly requested performance data from the Dodgers’ analytics team, calling it “highly irregular but fascinating.”
2025 Projections Are Out of This World
With these alleged superpowers in full swing, fantasy analysts and sports AI models have predicted jaw-dropping possibilities:
- ERA below 0.80
- Strikeout rate over 50%
- Opposing batting average: .070
Some bold projections even suggest he might record more strikeouts than innings pitched… doubled.
Fans Already Embracing the Hype
Social media has crowned him:
- “The Mound Mage”
- “MLB’s Doctor Strange”
- “Pitcher X”
Memes show him levitating baseballs, reading hitters’ minds, or warping reality around the strike zone.
Could He Be the Greatest Closer Ever?
Time will tell. But one thing’s clear: if this “superpower” is real, 2025 may go down as the season where MLB pitching entered the paranormal era — and the Dodgers lead the charge with a man who’s not just throwing baseballs… he’s rewriting the laws of physics.
Get ready, baseball fans. The record books might need a whole new chapter.
